my best friend is tom, he's a really cool guy. we met in primary school when we were both in the same class. tom has this infectious laughter that can light up any room, and his hair is always messy, like he just got out of bed. he's not the best at spelling, but he's great at sports, especially football.
once, we went on a camping trip together. it was my first time, and i was scared. tom, being the brave one, said, 'don't worry, mate, i'll protect you from all the monsters under the bed.' i laughed because i knew he was joking, but it made me feel better. that night, when i heard a rustling sound, i screamed, and tom jumped out of his tent, ready to fight off any imaginary creature. it turned out to be just a raccoon, but it was a funny moment we still talk about.
in english class, tom sometimes confuses 'there,' 'their,' and 'they're.' he wrote once, 'their going to the park, and they're bringing there ball.' i corrected him, but it's okay; we all make mistakes. he's getting better though.
another time, we had a science project, and tom suggested we build a volcano. it erupted too much, and we ended up with a classroom full of fake lava. our teacher wasn't amused, but we learned a valuable lesson about measuring ingredients correctly.
tom is more than a friend; he's like a brother to me. we've shared so many adventures and mishaps that i can't imagine life without him. even if he does forget to do his homework sometimes or mixes up his words, he's still the best friend anyone could ask for.
老师评语：
这篇作文生动地描绘了你和朋友tom的友情，展现了你们共同经历的趣事，但存在一些语法和拼写错误。例如，“their going”应为“they're going”，“there ball”应为“their ball”。尽管如此，你的叙事方式充满活力，富有孩子的天真无邪。
内容亮点：
文章的亮点在于其真实感和趣味性。你成功地描绘了tom的独特性格，以及你们之间的深厚友谊，让读者感受到了你们的互动和成长。你的故事讲述技巧在描述tom的拼写错误和科学实验失败时展现得淋漓尽致。
优化参考：
在描述tom的拼写错误时，可以更具体地说明他的困惑，比如他如何混淆这些词的用法，这样不仅能展示他的特点，也能提供学习的机会。对于科学实验的部分，可以详述一下你们如何解决这个问题，以此来体现你们的团队协作精神。
批改后作文
my best friend, tom, is an amusing fellow. our friendship blossomed in primary school, where his boisterous laughter could instantly brighten the dullest corners. his tousled hair, a constant reminder of his carefree spirit, adds to his charm. although he struggles with homophones, like confusing 'there' for 'their' or 'they're', he excels in sports, particularly in the art of football.
on our maiden camping adventure, tom's jesting assurance to protect me from 'monsters under the bed' alleviated my fears. when i mistook a curious raccoon for a nocturnal beast, his bravery, albeit misdirected, turned into a hilarious memory we cherish.
during a science project, tom's enthusiasm led us to construct a volcano. however, our overzealous eruption resulted in a classroom 'lava flow'. while our teacher wasn't entertained, we learned the importance of precision in measurements, a valuable life lesson.
tom is more than a friend; he's a brother. our camaraderie, filled with laughter and learning, has shaped who i am. despite his occasional homework lapses or linguistic blunders, tom remains the perfect embodiment of a true friend.
作文写作素材：
阅读参考
为了提升写作能力，建议多阅读《哈利·波特》系列，学习其中的生动描绘和有趣情节；同时，查阅《牛津高阶英汉双解词典》以加深对词汇和语法的理解。课文如《小王子》和《汤姆·索亚历险记》也可帮助理解人物塑造和故事叙述技巧。
相关诗句
1. 伯鸾长啸出东都，来卜龙邱二亩居。千岁仍昆作英语，五噫文采尚周馀。胸中万卷未得力，堂下一言谁识渠。我亦微官方冷甚，恨无燕玉可相嘘。
