my first day at junior high school
it was the first day of my seventh grade, and i woke up early with butterflies in my stomach. i had my new uniform on, which felt a bit too big for me, like wearing my dad's shirt. the school seemed so much bigger than my primary school, and it scared me a little. my mom gave me a big hug and said, 'you'll do great, honey,' but her words didn't quite calm me down.
as i walked into the classroom, all eyes were on me. it felt as if they were all thinking, 'who is this newbie?' i tried to say hello to everyone, but my voice came out so low that even i could barely hear it. my english teacher, ms. johnson, introduced me to the class. she had a kind smile, but i was too nervous to notice. we started our lesson, and i was struggling to understand the new grammar rules. it was like trying to solve a mystery without any clues.
during lunch, i sat alone at a corner table, staring at my untouched sandwich. suddenly, a girl named lily approached me, asking if she could sit down. we started talking about our favorite books, and before i knew it, i had made my first friend. that day, i learned that making friends wasn't as scary as i thought.
after school, i ran home to tell my parents about my day. i mixed up some words, saying, 'i had a hard time with the grammar, but i found a new buddy.' my parents laughed, and i realized my mistake. but, it was okay because i knew i'd get better.
老师评语：
本文生动地描绘了七年级新生的紧张与不安，展现了成长的挑战和友谊的力量。但部分句子结构略显混乱，如'i had a hard time with the grammar, but i found a new buddy'，应修正为'i struggled with the new grammar rules, yet i managed to make a friend.'
内容亮点：
文章中的个人经历和情感变化富有真实感，尤其是与新朋友lily的互动，体现了友情的温暖。作者巧妙地将恐惧、紧张、困惑和喜悦交织在一起，使读者能感受到初入中学的复杂心情。
优化参考：
原段落：'as i walked into the classroom, all eyes were on me. it felt as if they were all thinking, 'who is this newbie?''
优化后的：'stepping into the classroom, i sensed every gaze, imagining whispers of curiosity behind their unspoken question: 'who's the new kid?''
批改后作文
标题：my first steps into junior high
on the dawn of my seventh-grade journey, i stirred from sleep, heart fluttering like a caged bird. the freshly laundered uniform hung loosely on me, akin to donning my father's oversized attire. the grandeur of the junior high school intimidated me, casting a shadow over my primary school days. my mother's reassuring embrace and gentle words—'you'll conquer, dear'—failed to soothe my jitters.
as i entered the classroom, the collective scrutiny felt like a spotlight. 'who's this stranger?' their silent queries seemed to echo. my attempt at greeting them was a feeble whisper, almost imperceptible. ms. johnson, my english teacher, warmly welcomed me before the class, yet my nerves overshadowed her kindness. the grammar lesson unfolded like an unsolvable enigma, leaving me perplexed.
during lunchtime, i found myself isolated at a corner, my sandwich untouched. lily, a girl with a radiant smile, approached me, asking if she could join. our conversation about beloved books melted my solitude, and before long, i discovered a newfound companion. that day, i realized that friendship can alleviate even the toughest challenges.
back home, i excitedly narrated my day to my parents, mixing up a few words. 'i stumbled over the grammar, but i stumbled upon a friend too,' i blurted. their laughter filled the room, and i acknowledged my linguistic slip. but, it was a reminder that growth comes with stumbles.
作文写作素材：
阅读参考
- "charlotte"s web" by e.b. white - 学习如何描绘情感丰富的场景和角色。
- "the chronicles of narnia" by c.s. lewis - 探索人物发展和友谊的主题。
- "journey to the river sea" by eva ibbotson - 学习如何用生动的细节描绘新环境。
- 完成初中英语课本的语法练习，以加强理解和应用。
注意：以上书籍和课文旨在提供参考，帮助提升写作技巧和理解力，具体选择应根据个人兴趣和学习进度。
