my favourite hobby
since i was a little kid, i've always loved reading books. it's like diving into another world, full of wonders and mysteries. books are my friends, my teachers, and my companions. they teach me about life, love, and the universe. i can spend hours in the library, browsing through shelves, picking up books with intriguing covers, and getting lost in their pages.
once, i read a book called 'the adventures of tom sawyer'. it was confusing at first because of all the old-fashioned words, but soon, i found it thrilling. the story made me feel as if i was right there with tom and his friends, getting into mischief. sometimes, when i'm reading, i forget to eat or sleep, which is probably not good, but that's how much i enjoy it.
i remember one time, my mom got mad at me for reading under the covers with a flashlight after bedtime. she said, 'reading is good, but too much of anything isn't healthy.' that's when i learned about balance. now, i set a timer for myself, so i don't miss out on other important things.
reading also helps me improve my vocabulary. i find new words every day, and even though i don't always understand them, i try to use them in sentences. like 'prolific', i thought it meant 'lazy' once, but it actually means 'productive'.
in conclusion, reading is my passion. it's not just a hobby; it's a part of who i am. it's like a key that unlocks countless doors to different worlds. i can't imagine my life without books. they make me smarter, braver, and more understanding.
老师评语:
你的作文展示了你对阅读的深深热爱,这种情感表达得十分真挚。然而,有些地方还需要改进。例如,“once, i read a book...”这一段,虽然讲述了你的经历,但过于简单,缺乏细节描绘。另外,“that's when i learned about balance.”这句话显得过于成人化,不太符合小学生的表达方式。
内容亮点:
你的作文中,你成功地描绘了你对阅读的热爱,如你如何被书中的世界吸引,甚至忘记了吃饭和睡觉。你的故事中融入了个人体验,这是文章的一大亮点。
优化参考:
“once, i read a book…”这段可以改写得更具画面感,比如:“我记得有一次,我沉迷于《汤姆·索亚历险记》,那里的每个章节都像是冒险的邀请,尽管有些古老的词汇让我困惑,但我依然乐此不疲。”关于平衡的部分,可以改为:“妈妈看到我在床下偷偷看书,她告诉我,‘读书好,但要适度,否则会影响健康哦。’从那时起,我开始学会在阅读和其他事情之间找到平衡。”
批改后作文
since i was a toddler, books have been my constant companions, transporting me to realms brimming with enchantment and enigma. one particular escapade, 'the adventures of tom sawyer,' initially perplexed me due to its archaic lexicon, yet soon, it became an exhilarating journey. i could visualize myself alongside tom and his comrades, embroiled in their innocent pranks. occasionally, my bibliophilia would reach a fever pitch, neglecting meals or sleep, until mom's gentle reprimand reminded me of life's diverse hues. 'reading enriches you, but excess of anything isn't beneficial,' she said. that lesson taught me the art of moderation, and now, i set a reading timer, ensuring a balanced lifestyle.
reading has also enriched my vocabulary. each day, i stumble upon new words, attempting to incorporate them into my speech, even if my initial understanding was off. for instance, i misconstrued 'prolific' as 'idle', but now i know it denotes 'productive'.
in essence, reading is my cherished pastime, an integral part of my identity. it serves as a magical key, unlocking unexplored territories. without books, my world would be devoid of color and adventure.
作文写作素材:
阅读参考
建议多阅读儿童文学,如《哈利·波特》系列,增强故事描绘能力;同时,读一些基础的语法书籍,如《牛津英语语法手册》,帮助改正语法错误;另外,《查理和巧克力工厂》这样的书籍可以学习如何在故事中融入个人体验。
相关诗句
1. 伯鸾长啸出东都,来卜龙邱二亩居。千岁仍昆作英语,五噫文采尚周馀。胸中万卷未得力,堂下一言谁识渠。我亦微官方冷甚,恨无燕玉可相嘘。