once upon a time, in the bustling city of dreamscape, i had a friend named alex. he was not like any other friend; he had this uncanny knack for making even the dullest days seem vibrant. his laughter was as contagious as a summer flu, and his smile could light up the darkest corners of the world.
alex was always there, whether it was climbing trees on sunny afternoons or staying up late discussing our wildest dreams. we'd spend hours debating over which superhero had the coolest powers, and alex would argue that it was spiderman, simply because he could shoot webs from his wrists. i'd counter with batman, insisting on his gadgets and intelligence. our arguments were endless, but they never once turned sour.
one day, we decided to build a fort in alex's backyard. it wasn't the most sturdy structure, with its crooked sticks and mismatched blankets, but it was our little sanctuary. that's where we shared secrets, whispered stories, and pretended to be knights defending our kingdom. the堡垒wasn't perfect, but it held within it countless memories, each one more precious than the last.
there was a time when alex got into trouble for breaking his mom's vase while trying to catch a butterfly. he was so sorry, his eyes filled with tears. but instead of scolding him, his mom hugged him tight, saying, 'accidents happen, my boy. what matters is that you learn from them.' that lesson stuck with me, teaching me the value of forgiveness and learning from mistakes.
however, there were moments when alex's words didn't quite make sense. like the time he said, 'the moon is like a giant cheese ball in the sky, and stars are its craters.' it was a funny analogy, but not entirely accurate. or when he insisted that plants sleep at night, which, well, isn't entirely false but not how he explained it. these quirks made him endearing, a reminder that perfection isn't necessary for being loved.
as we grew older, life took us on different paths. alex moved away, and our days of forts and superhero debates became distant memories. but whenever i look up at the moon, i still think of that giant cheese ball, and the laughter we shared under its glow.
老师评语：
本文生动地描绘了作者与朋友alex之间的深厚友谊，语言虽然略显单薄，但充满了童趣和真挚的情感。部分比喻和表达稍显不准确，如'moon is like a giant cheese ball'，但这种不严谨反而增加了故事的趣味性。
内容亮点：
1. 描述了与朋友的日常互动，如争论超级英雄，构建堡垒，富有生活气息。
2. 通过小事展现了人物性格，如alex对错误的态度，揭示了成长和宽容的主题。
优化参考：
文章结尾部分可以更深入探讨离别后的情感变化，如何影响了作者的视角，以增强深度。
批改后作文
my friend
in the vibrant city of dreamscape, i had a friend named alex, whose infectious laughter and radiant smile could transform even the dreariest of days. our friendship was filled with tree-climbing escapades and深夜对话about fantastical superheroes. alex championed spiderman's web-shooting abilities, while i defended batman's intellect and gadgetry – our disagreements were endless yet always lighthearted.
our backyard fort, a haphazard masterpiece of twigs and blankets, symbolized our shared adventures. there, we whispered secrets, imagined ourselves as knights, and cherished every moment. once, alex accidentally shattered his mom's vase while pursuing a butterfly, but instead of reprimanding him, she embraced him, teaching us about forgiveness and growth.
as adolescence approached, alex moved away, and our childhood fantasies began to fade. yet, the moon still reminds me of his imaginative comparison – a giant cheese ball in the sky. those memories, though tinged with nostalgia, have shaped my perspective, reminding me of the importance of friendship, creativity, and embracing imperfections.
作文写作素材：
阅读参考
1. 《小王子》：探索友情和想象力的深度。
2. 《哈利·波特》系列：描绘深厚的友谊和成长的历程。
3. 《安妮日记》：展示在困境中保持乐观和友谊的力量。
