when i was a little kid, i used to dream about becoming a superhero, saving the world from villains and making everyone happy. i imagined myself flying through the sky, wearing a cape, and having superpowers. nowadays, though, my dreams have grown up with me.
i want to be a scientist, not because i want to wear a lab coat or use fancy gadgets, but because i'm curious about how things work. i remember when i first took apart my toy robot, trying to understand what made it move. it was like uncovering a secret world of gears and wires. sometimes, i struggle with words, but that doesn't stop me from exploring the world of science.
in school, i'm not the best at math, and sometimes i mix up my left and right. but that's okay, because i believe even einstein had his struggles. i might mix up formulas sometimes, but i never give up. i know i won't save the world like a superhero, but i can contribute in my own way.
one day, i hope to discover something new, maybe a cure for a disease or a way to clean our polluted oceans. i don't expect to find a magic potion, but i do hope my work can make a difference, even if it's just a tiny bit.
i want to inspire others, just like my science teacher did for me. she always said, 'science is not about knowing all the answers; it's about asking the right questions.' that stuck with me, and now, it's my guiding light.
my dream isn't grand or flashy, but it's mine. it's a dream of curiosity, perseverance, and making the world a better place. i know it won't be easy, but i'm ready for the challenge. i'll keep learning, keep experimenting, and keep dreaming.
老师评语：
the essay showcases a genuine and personal narrative, reflecting the growth of a young dreamer. the language, though elementary in places, captures the innocence and enthusiasm of a child transitioning into adolescence. there are a few grammatical errors, such as mixing up 'its' and 'it's', and the transition between paragraphs could be smoother.
内容亮点：
the essay's strength lies in its honesty and simplicity. the writer effectively conveys their passion for science and their willingness to learn despite challenges. the reference to the science teacher adds a touch of inspiration.
优化参考：
the paragraph about struggling with math could be refined for clarity. instead of saying, 'i'm not the best at math,' you could say, 'mathematics can be a daunting subject for me, but i see it as an obstacle to overcome in my pursuit of scientific knowledge.'
批改后作文
as a youngster, i fantasized about being a superhero, swooping through the skies, draped in a cape, battling evil. my dreams, however, have evolved alongside my growth. today, i aspire to be a scientist, driven by an insatiable curiosity about the mechanics of the universe. i recall dismantling my toy robot, eager to unravel the mysteries behind its motion – a microcosm of gears and wires that captivated my young mind. though i occasionally stumble over words, or confuse my left from right, these setbacks only fuel my determination.
though math doesn't come effortlessly to me, i view it as a challenge rather than a hindrance. sometimes, i falter with equations, but each error is a lesson learned. i may never possess the fantastical powers of a comic book hero, but i believe i can contribute meaningfully through science.
i envision discovering something groundbreaking, whether it's a breakthrough in medicine or a solution for environmental issues. i understand that my discoveries might not be miraculous, but i'm optimistic they could bring about incremental change. like my influential science teacher once taught, 'science is about inquiring, not knowing all answers.' her words resonate deeply, guiding my scientific journey.
my dream, modest yet profound, encapsulates curiosity, resilience, and a desire to improve the world. i anticipate obstacles, but i'm prepared to face them. i'll continue to learn, experiment, and, most importantly, dream.
作文写作素材：
阅读参考
to enhance this piece, the student might benefit from reading "the curious world of samuel pepys" for a model of personal narrative, "a brief history of time" by stephen hawking to ignite scientific curiosity, and "the art of possibility" by rosamund stone zander and benjamin zander for a broader perspective on overcoming challenges.
